Stories: On Burials & Borders

24 February 2025 // Written by Sofia Ijaz

Tijuana, Mexico // Photo by Max Böhme

The death of a parent or parental figure stirs emotions which many can relate to in similar ways – pain from the loss, regret for words unsaid, and confusion as to how to say goodbye. For migrants and refugees, the ability to grieve and move through this moment can be infinitely more complex.  

I represent Vincent*, a father of two Canadian children and a migrant from a small Caribbean country. He has been in immigration limbo in Canada for nearly a decade. Last month, we received the email we have been long awaiting: his application for permanent residency on humanitarian grounds had been ‘approved in principle’. This means that, assuming he passes background, security, and medical screening, Vincent will become a Permanent Resident of Canada.  

When I called to share the news, Vincent was in a state of disbelief. He asked me to read the decision back to him three times before reality settled in. He then immediately said, “I’m going to get to see my dad. He’s been holding on for this moment.” Because of his precarious immigration status, Vincent has been unable to travel to his home country to see his elderly and ailing father as departure from Canada could result in permanent separation from his children.   

Six days later, Vincent’s father passed away.  

We wrote to the Canadian immigration authorities, pleading for the impossible: to expedite the final stage of processing so that Vincent could travel freely, not to reunite with, but rather to bury his father. He wished to stand side by side with his siblings as they lay the man who raised them from birth to his final resting place.  

The response from immigration was entirely expected and somehow still came like a kick in the gut. Vincent was told that he was ‘free to leave Canada’ - but in doing so, he would be putting himself at risk of being denied re-entry. This was despite the fact that his humanitarian application had been approved in principle.   

The so-called ‘freedom’ to leave was no freedom at all. Vincent was left to make an impossible choice: the chance to say goodbye to his father or the certainty of remaining with his children.  

 And it is in these moments – when parents and children are separated in life and in death – that the brutality of borders is laid bare. In the end, Vincent stayed to protect his future with his children in Canada. His father will be buried this week without him.   

*Not his real name. This post was published after his review and with his consent.